He leads us primarily by His Word, and we are to look there first and primarily for guidance about how to live and make decisions. God does not ever "call" or "lead" His people into sin, or even into folly or biblically responsible choices. Choice one is to get married anyway and work your way through. When two people are dating — especially when it's going well and two people are really into one another — the desire to spend more and more time together, to know each other better and better, to confide in each other more and more often and exclusively, is overwhelming.As your general comfort level around each other rises, that momentum grows even more. We'll assume, per another clear principle from Scripture, that both members of our college couple are Christians.Scripture calls Christians to "flee" from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians ), not to "see how difficult we can make the temptation and still prevail" or to "see how close to the line we can get without sinning." In my view, Scripture teaches clearly that there is to be romantic physical intimacy outside of marriage.No reasonable person would argue that physical temptation does not increase — a lot — the longer two people date who are attracted to each other and who grow to love each other.
They see each other every day, are with each other's families every holiday (and often know their partner's family as well as any son or daughter-in-law does), they travel together, spend most of their non-working (or studying) time together, they daily confide in one another (and maybe one another), and are without doubt, closer emotionally with one another than with anyone else on the planet.Where a relationship is shorter, accountability stronger, and the level of temptation, and the likelihood of sin, goes down.To put it simply, "not acting married before you're married," gets exponentially more difficult the longer a pre-marital relationship persists.I've arrived at this conclusion by thinking through a number of biblical principles.One of our bedrock governing principles in biblical dating — and in how we treat our brothers and sisters in Christ generally — is not to "defraud" our single brothers and sisters by implying a greater level of commitment between us and them than actually exists (see 1 Thessalonians 4:6).