But I really wanted to be on my own and meet different kinds of people for awhile.
I unnecessarily confused a few serious guys who wanted exclusive relationships, One fellow wrote me that after he lost his wife, he wanted a friend with benefits only. Another gentleman said he wants a girlfriend, but still wants to live separately. It helps to have a goal before shopping in the human mall of online dating.
I rushed into dating far too quickly after my husband George died.
I tried dating a couple of guys only a few months after his death. ” Haven’t we all heard this from well-intentioned people who are uncomfortable because we’re alone.
Trying to date before I’d processed George’s death caused unnecessary turmoil both for me and the guys I was seeing.
I started “beta-dating” a few months after my loss, thinking I’d start practicing.
But I was still too wounded and vulnerable, making me needy.
If my date cancelled or wasn’t available, I was plunged into despair.
I tried dating a nice Jewish yogi lawyer (just like me) four months after losing George. Everything we did reminded me of something George and I had done or eaten or seen or hadn’t had the chance to do because his life had been cut short. I also had a lot of guilt over having been George’s caregiver.
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I severely underestimated the toll of having been George’s caregiver.
I needed to spend what energies I did have taking care of myself.