Each interaction is just one more in a string of experiences for people intent, consciously or unconsciously, on pursuing a personal sense of euphoria, with no regard for its longevity or for who might get hurt along the way.If they cannot cry out with the woman of Song of Solomon, “I am sick with love!The Song of Solomon showcases the meeting, courtship and marriage of a couple — always with marriage in view. Biblical courtship recognizes the general call to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3, NIV).I am not advocating arranged marriages; rather, I am pointing toward the biblical purpose for why young men and women associate with one another. It also recognizes the specific call that Ephesians gives men in marriage, where our main role is sacrificial service.
It advocates an alternative system, which most describe as "courtship." In my reading, the book on this topic that seems the most sound theologically and practically is called ). For our purposes, there are three broad differences between what has been called biblical courtship and modern dating. The Difference in Motive The first difference lies with the man's in pursuing the relationship.But much like the Israelites who were too busy grumbling about their accommodations to take in the awesome sight of God leading them out of slavery, men and women can be so busy trying to test the strength of a relationship that they miss the awesome experience of a beautiful beginning.How might the grumbling wilderness generation have acted if they had known that the exodus would be rehearsed throughout Scripture as a witness to God’s love for his people?What is the difference between courtship and dating, and is one more biblical than the other? Dating, a more modern approach, begins when either the man or the woman initiates a more-than-friends relationship with the other, and then they conduct that relationship outside of any oversight or authority. Biblical courtship has one motive — to find a spouse.I will provide a working definition of each, describe how the two methods are broadly different, and then recommend why one method is fundamentally more biblical than the other. Courtship ordinarily begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman's father and then conducts his relationship with the woman under the authority of her father, family or church, whichever is most appropriate. A man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct.