We lived in separate states for three and a half years.
During that time Larry went through a long period of denial, lying to me, to his counselors and to his 12 step groups.
Larry worked hard on regaining my trust while we were separated as I have outlined in some of my posts.
I think the final event that sealed Larry’s recovery was a commitment that I made to him in response to all the commitments and changes that he had made.
I found out about his thousand dollar a month prostitute habit just three and a half months after we were married.
We had been together for three years and I knew he had been in chat rooms during our relationship.
After we were separated for over two years and while I was attempting to move on with my life by doing some casual dating, Larry and I came to the conclusion that there were a lot of positive aspects to our relationship and that we had a lot of things in common.
Can the compulsion to have sex slowly dissipate with years of behavioral therapy? They can recondition themselves to enjoy healthier, although less exciting, forms of sexual expression and they can learn to overcome some of the shame and guilt that they feel about sex.Eventually Larry had a breakthrough when his third counselor focused on working through his anger over his childhood abandonment issues of his mother leaving him and his sister when he was very young, and his physical abuse in a foster home.He started taking anti depressants, which helped his morose mood immensely.So, how could I make a statement like, ‘I will never leave you’? I knew I loved Larry, I knew I wanted to be with him, I knew he had made a firm commitment to never act out again, I knew that I would recognize any ‘pre acting out’ behaviors and we would deal with them immediately.I knew that if he did have a slip that we would be able to work through it and I knew that he had made a tremendous change in the way he communicated.