But again, there was always an excuse — anti-depressants, he’s tired from work, he has trouble with libido, etc. I do not blame myself because I know no one should have to police or monitor their significant other. I wish there was a fast forward button so I could see what’s going to happen and I can start down that path right now.
J texts and emails me at least once a day saying how sorry he is, how he has been to a therapist and attended SA meetings.
But for some reason, the next morning I went into his email account.
I had NEVER done this before, but something in my gut was telling me that I was about to find something horrible. of searching through his sent emails to find various emails to people I didn’t recognize. He kept reassuring me that it was nothing and I should just drop it. But the next morning, I woke up early with the same feeling in my gut.
He said 2 1/2 years (so before we started dating) and over 30. I thought nothing of it — I really trusted him with all my heart. At first, it was amazing, but it dropped off very fast.
I knew from day one about his struggle with alcohol and drugs but he had just gotten his 4 year sobriety chip and attended weekly AA meetings with his sponsor. He would leave flowers on my doorstep, pick me up from work (even though I lived only a few blocks away), take me out all the time. Our first year of marriage brought a lot of ups and downs; J lost his job, we lost our dog, we moved cities after I was accepted into medical school, J got a new job (that he loved), we adopted a new dog, and things were starting to really come together by those last couple months.He was nicknamed "Rooster", supposedly for both a cowlick strand of hair and an assertive nature, particularly on important political issues.Santorum attended Pennsylvania State University for his undergraduate studies, serving as chairman of the university's College Republicans chapter and graduating with a BA degree with honors in political science in 1980.I google searched 3 of them and they all came back as local “escorts.” I was shaking. I woke him up and confronted him, “Are you cheating on me? J swore (and let me say for the record, he SWORE on his dead mother’s grave) that he never had or was having an extra-marital affairs of any sort. I went online and went through his phone records…there was the proof.I had taken screen shots of the emails, and stored them where he couldn’t delete them. He still denied it; someone must have broken into his account, it was SPAM, I heard every excuse in the book. At one point I stole his phone when he wasn’t looking and looked through his applications. At last 10 calls/texts just from December all to local “escorts.” I woke him up again and just said, “it’s over.” I then asked him if there was anything he wanted to say and all he could mutter was, “I have a problem…” I took a shower, drove to school (it was to be my first day back at med school after winter break) and I went to see a school counselor.