"Give yourself a break."When clients tell him they've been through a breakup, Blackson tells them, "Congratulations!" and salutes their new chapter."You made a courageous choice," he said.Dating past your 20s means you often have a more adult life.Standards have been set: You've made yourself a comfortable home, maybe one you own and don't want to leave.And pressure to fit someone into your already-fixed life — apartment, adult job — can mean that an exit can be a harder unraveling.Meanwhile, the fear of starting over is sharp for those who want to get married and have children.Meanwhile, she said, the dating landscape has changed dramatically, as apps and online dating became mainstream while she was in a relationship.
Most importantly, don't beat yourself up or bathe in feelings of guilt or failure."A lot of people take it personally and feel terrible and think that they did something wrong and they didn't choose right," de Castro said.Perhaps you prefer nicer restaurants or don't want to compromise on travel."You're not willing to budge as much," de Castro said.Popofsky said she now has the same high standards but different values — she cares more about someone's behavior, not job, for example."I wouldn't say I'm picky," she said.Often, de Castro said, clients are scared by pals sharing anxieties like, "Did I really make the right choice?""Other friends have these marriages, and they hear from their friends that it's not that great," de Castro said.